Peter Drucker - "The only thing we know about the future is that it will be different."

I heard I pretty good talk today about the upcoming new year. Apart from the usual babble about resolutions (or, "goals" for you p.c. types), I thought the speaker did a great job of re-emphasizing the importance of paying attention during our waking hours and not giving in to the overwhelming influence of popular culture: to numb ourselves with entertainment and distraction.
I don't want to set a bunch of silly benchmarks for myself; I want to simply keep growing and learning. Stagnation is my worst fear. It usually leads to depression and/or angst. I don't know what my future holds. I have a pretty strong intuition that it will different, and I like surprises . . .

C.S. Lewis - Mere change is not growth. Growth is the synthesis of change and continuity, and where there is no continuity there is no growth.

P.S. Process, process, process, Ben. Patience!

Please light a candle as a prayer for whatever you deem important in your life!

Light A Candle

Bill Watterson - "There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do."

(And I would argue that doing nothing is sometimes what we really need to do most!!!)


"If you love truth, be a lover of silence. Silence, like the sunlight will illuminate you in God."
---St. Issac - 7th Century Hermit Monk

Shhhhh . . . .

www.gratefulness.org

No longer wanting to play 'pretend I'm fine' anymore about my mental health, I came clean to most of my immediate family on Christmas Eve. That was probably not a great timing move on my part, but I knew that if I didn't do it then, I would be ruining any chance of enjoying Christmas Day. I feel somewhat relieved that they understand a little bit better now that I'm not just 'weird' or 'moody.' (Although, I think sometimes I really am just weird/moody.)
Some days are good; others are not so good. I've learned a lot, though, through all of this mess. I like the following quotation: I think it sums up the positive side of my faulty wiring---


"A sacred illness is one that educates us and alters us from the inside out, provides experiences and therefore knowledge that we could not possibly achieve in any other way." by Deena Metzger

I guess I'm grateful in the sense that, without this very humbling experience, I might be an even bigger a*#hole!!!

Benny

Go see the movie "Unaccompanied Minors." There is a lot more going on in this film than just a silly, kids' movie. It handles some very serious themes such as abandonment and divorce. There are plenty of laughs (especially from my guy Lewis Black) and it's kid-friendly: no bad language, etc. A great film, not because of any superb plot, but beause it has the balls to speak to the effects of divorce from a teen perspective. Go see it!

So, although my email address would suggest that I'm a softy, I haven't felt that peaceful about some things. I have just a tad bit of restlessness inside. Whether that's good or bad, I'm not sure. I've had some scary panic attacks lately. I feel out-of-control during those, but I know I can survive these episodes. Sometimes I worry what I'll do when I am freaking out because it generally happens out in public and far from home. Being home seems to lessen the anxiety. Some of the time, I'm a gentle bear; sometimes: not so much. But, I am always alvailable for a big, bear hug, though!
Please feed this bear!!! (Hint: he likes pizza)

"Toke" a look at this!

Need to chill? If you have the means, I 'highly' recommend you pick-up a copy of David Crosby's "If I Could Only Remember My Name . . . " This CD will make you long for the days of vinyl!

If I Could Only Remember My Name by Crosby, David (Audio CD)

So, I don't know what's going on with me, but I'm going through this 1/3-life crisis: reviewing and reliving a few childhood memories. Stuff like pro wrestling. I watched a documentary on the Ultimate Warrior and the LOD (greatest tag team ever!). I even watch Hulk Hogan's "reality" show on VH1, brother. What's happening to me? My all-time fav was the Superfly Jimmy Snuka. I still wish I had his hang-time. Oh, well.
Anyway, if you see me with my face painted and I drop an elbow on you---at least you'll know why . . .

"I like things to happen, and if they don't happen, I like to make them happen"
-Winston Churchill

That probably makes me annoying to most people. I like change. If you're not changing, you are dying. Sometimes, I think change for the sake of change is good, too. It's also why I didn't do well in the military (OK, that's just ONE reason!).

Way too much time on my hands!

Discover your pimp name at www.playerappreciate.com

Ben Wilcox