Opposed to Failure

Some encouraging stuff:

"Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." - Henry Ford

"I am never down; I am either up or getting up." - Anon.

"Failure isn't failure unless you don't learn from it." - Ronald Niednagel

Questions to ask after a failure:
What lessons have I learned?
Am I grateful for the experience?
How can I turn this into success?
Where do I go from here?
Who else has failed like this before and what can I learn from them?
How can my experience help others avoid my mistakes in the future?
Did I actually fail, or did I simply fall short of an unrealistically high standard?
Where did I succeed as well as fail?
"In the best possible environment, growth is not only allowed, but leaders model it an expect it from everyone." - John Maxwell

FEAR > INACTION > LACK OF EXPERIENCE > IGNORANCE > MORE FEAR

OR

FEAR > ACTION > EXPERIENCE > WISDOM > DECREASED FEAR & INCREASED SUCCESS!

"Success is not measured by what a man accomplishes, but by the opposition he has encountered and the courage with which he has maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds." - Lindbergh

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected." - Thoreau

They let you read standing up at the laundry mat, right?

These NyQuil hangovers are a real bugger. Attempting to sweat it out at Durango Martial Arts this morning was a wash. No heat yet. After a scalding shower, I plopped down at the 8th Avenue laundry with HST's Fear and Loathing: On the Campaign Trail '72. This book makes perfect sense to me--especially in light of our recent national popularity contest and, most importantly, without too much staring into the tumbling dryer. For any of this political mess to make some sort of sense, perhaps you have to do what I did recently: swear off TV news and stay out of the national papers as much as possible.
It's been more or less five years since my last bender. I miss beer a little, but mornings like these remind me of the hassle: trying to function without 2nd through 5th gear. Just first and reverse. Coffee helps. But, there's the sloshing through two inches of fresh snow to accomplish that. (It's not even Thanksgiving yet!)
However, there's still a little bit of a high you feel when still drunk on a Monday morning. A dirty little secret you're not trying that hard to keep. Cough medicine doesn't announce its presence as much as say, Coors or Jack even--but the giggles are never far away, are they?
Why is the print so small in this book, Hunter? Surely you didn't approve that? Ugh.
Why isn't this required reading for every registered voter every four years? And why aren't you still around, Dr.? I need you now more than ever. I know you would often write back--even to the hacks that called themselves "fans." I need the real dope--the goods--the lowdown on how to make it as a journalist. The New New New New Journalism. The Narrative. The Gonzo 2.0--come back!
Does my sobriety instantly disqualify me from ever arriving? I am left to sweat out the next four years without you. Sloshing through the muck here in Durango--woefully out of place. A sober square in hippy-land. Rejected query letters and months of angst. Yes, we can!?!?!! Obama=Bobby? Would I have even made it on the plane had I shucked out to D.C. for the scene? (I don't even own a dog--much less the requisite Doberman)
We may never be Iraq-free but at least I have NyQuil.

I am a 33-year-old Rookie

I am halfway through reading Chris Coste's ("Coast") The 33-Year-Old Rookie (How I Finally Made It To The Big Leagues After 11 Years in the Minors). I bought the book because the title deeply resonated with me. Having turned 33 in September, I feel like a rookie regarding several areas of my life.

I have not had employment for over two years now. I had dinner with friends last night and tried to explain my odd circumstances: I have income but no job. Don't get me wrong. It's truly a blessing to be free to pursue new and different things right now (see previous post), but at the same time, it takes tremendous self discipline to stay on track and feel like I am making the most of my time and energy (I would grade myself a B- so far).

In his book, Coste describes how much time and work he put into transforming himself into a better player--giving himself every chance to make it. He describes the disappointment that accompanies being sent back to the minors time after time. Of feeling like his dream of making it to the 'bigs' was possibly slipping away. The last two years have been an adventure to say the least. We've moved several states away. I have been trying to transform myself into a writer and journalist, and many times, I feel like a fumbling rookie--unsure of what to do or to whom to go for directions.

Like Coste, I have to keep putting myself out there and taking chances. Keep sending the query letters and proposing ideas. Keep sending emails to people I do not know but whose work has inspired me. Making the big "ask." (& often feeling like a big ass)

Coste does make it to the Majors on a couple of occasions. He makes the most of his time while there because he is never sure how long his "shot" will last. I must do the same. Being a rookie can suck: carrying the veterans' bags, doing the dirty work, acting as if you know what you are doing, subjecting yourself to the criticism that inevitably comes from attempting new things, etc. But, how else can I expect to improve? I believe that suffering through this rookie season will all be worth it someday. I just hope it doesn't take 11 years!

Dreams

Are you ever too old to pursue a dream? Does there come a time in life that one should simply settle down to reality?
Is hard work enough to accomplish anything, or is some inherent talent required?
Are there things about yourself that you may never know until you undertake a big enough challenge?

It seems like I have taken on a few challenges this year, and I am looking forward to my journey in the next twelve months or so. I am also somewhat frightened about what or who I'll become during all this. More than anything else, I feel excitement about the adventures in store.