Snooze Button Books?

"If the book we are reading does not wake us, as with a fist hammering on our skull, why then do we read it? . . . A book must be like an ice-axe to break the sea frozen inside us."
-Frank Kafka

So, what have you been reading lately? Do you read a few pages before bed, or does it keep you up long past midnight?

A Franciscan Benediction:

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace. May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

Loving LORD,

I considered a sunset today. You came up with that idea, right? What an amazing expression of beauty and breath-taking promise of hope. You: the designer of the sun. You: the maker of heaven and earth. You: able to care for one and all. You: who left heaven once for everyone. You: who designed---me? I don't get it. Why should I even be mentioned at all in relation with the majesty and wonder of your ingenious power? Yet, I guess to dismiss myself (given that you are my Creator God), would be in some way dismissing You. I can't do that, Father. How can I criticize your work? Who am I? Will you help me once again? Will you assist my understanding of how you could put on a nightly performance of awe-inspiring hues and lights and yet make yourself available to pitiful me? Can the Father of all light really be my dad?
You, God, your love is awe-inspiring to me. As I so readily enjoy and receive the nightly sunset showing and exuberantly praise its maker and producer, will you help me to relax in the enjoyment and wonder of your love to me? I praise my maker. I honor my Father. May your love set on me: every day and every night.

"The extravagantly orchestrated skies . . . are not background to provide a little beauty on the periphery of the god-like ego; they are the large beauty in which we find our true home, room in which to live . . . Christ expansively, openhearted in praise."
Eugene Peterson

Good Grief!!!

How many times have I searched for just the right thing to say to someone who is really going through a hard time because of personal loss? All I can generally muster is a hardy, "I'm so sorry." Or, "How are you doing?" Well, they just lost someone through either divorce or death; so, take a wild guess as to how they are doing. Uh, 'poorly' would probably be a good start, right? When visiting with those in mourning, why do we feel the need to say something? A warm hand to hold, a gentle, sideways hug, or the offering of true compassion that is conveyed through a sincere look on the face--all of these silent expressions of love do more than any 'worthy-of-a-Hallmark-card' word or phrase could possible hope to accomplish. If you really want to assist someone with their pain, you must merely offer your presence. Your 'being there' is needed more than any boquet or card. Please don't insist that the person contact you first. Go. Initiate and respond. If sent away, don't remain gone for long. Don't pester, but avail truly avail your self. All of you. Be fully present: mind and body. Speak only when spoken to. Leave cliche at the door along with your pride and best intentions. You must simply arrive. Worry not about appearance or tact for yours is not to cheer or offend. Yours is to be. I offer you these simple instructions, "Sit Down and Shut Up!"
Four little words that could serve us all well.

Ben Wilcox

Dear God,

It's way too early in the morning. How do you do it? I'm tired but excited about my meeting this morning. Another chance to raise the awareness level. Thanks!

Were you listening when Mom gave me that great compliment yesterday? You know, that was really YOUR compliment, though. YOU made me; YOU created me. So, would you take the credit for what she said? I don't try to do anything special, but for some reason, people really appreciate me sometimes. Appreciate what? If they only knew the things I've done wrong and the thoughts that I entertain all too frequently. Maybe then they wouldn't be so quick to praise. Thank you for forgiving me. Can you keep me from stupid sin? I know that it's my life, but you could sort of steer me away from dumb stuff, right? That might greatly improve my chances.

I'm getting better at this notion that you think I'm pretty cool. You really do want to spend time with me, spend the day with me, waste time together? Are you SURE about that? I have difficulty believing that. It seems like nobody has time to just waste anymore. (Time is money, and all that nonsense.)

I'm sorry I told that stupid joke about you at the theater, too. I just really hate the whole WWJD thing. You know why. Can you possibly be as sarcastic as I am?

Little J has a 'message of the day.' It seems to work well for him. Could we try it? What's mine for today? Could I suggest, "Shut up and listen more?" Man, I need to do that.

There are some things I'm starting to see about myself. I like them. Could you please continue with whatever it is you are doing? Could we build something together? You know why that's a tough one for me, but I am ready now.

Where DO you put all the junk I ask you to take from me? It's got to be quite the pile by now! I'm glad I never have to see it.

Well, I'm about to go outside and start my day, so to speak. I guess it really started some time ago, though, didn't it?

I love you.

"Just" Prayer?

Dear Reader,
As you may know I have many faults and shortcomings (please do not reply to this with your opinions and additions to the list!), one of my most troublesome is my inability to pray. More specifically, I often fail to pray effectively. My perception of effective prayer is not measured by outcome per se, but I do want to know that my prayers are aligned with God's word, are not half-hearted, and are received by God as pleasing because of my faith, faithfulness, and earnest seeking.
I've been reading a great book on the subject of recapturing the originally intended essence and nature of prayer by Eugene Peterson,

Where Your Treasure Is: Psalms That Summon You from Self to Community

In it, he quotes Richard Foster, "To pray is to change. Prayer is the central avenue God uses to transform us. If we are unwilling to change, we will abandon prayer as a noticeable characteristic of our lives. The closer we come to the heartbeat of God the more we see our need and the more we desire to be conformed to Christ. To pray is to change."

I assume most true Christians want to know and have the heart of God--in every part of our lives. We have little trouble perceiving our greatest needs and wants. So, what do we do about it? That's our first instinct isn't it? Just do something, anything !!!
So often as Christ followers we view prayer as the last ditch effort to bring in the cavalry. Whether we realize it or not, we usually try to do everything in our own power to help fix a situation, offer keen advice to a person in pain, or create a plan of action for whatever it is we are up against. When all else fails, "Let's pray about it." I've said that a million times to people for whom I've had no reasonable answer or advice to give. "I'll be praying for you." "I'll be praying about that." It may be Christendom's greatest cliché. Do we really pray, though? I know I don't. Not like I should. Not as often as I tell people that I will. I'm ashamed of that.
Maybe this time, in this instance, in these circumstances throughout our country and world (it's not really "ours" though; is it?), maybe we can ask, seek, and knock first. Maybe when a troubling subject arises, I'll be the first one to hit the floor and seek God with earnest. I hope I will. It's scary for me though because encounters with God leave a mark. Personal growth hurts. What will God bring to my attention that I don't want to look at or talk about? But, this isn't about me, is it? I'm not as important as God's will for hurting people or injustice. I need to be constantly summoned away from myself. I think we do that through, and in, prayer.
The right things to do and say are available and 'knowable.' When, or how, will we recognize them? I'm not sure.
But, I'll pray about it.




Ben Wilcox

Dear God,

I know you are there. Though sometimes I wonder, are you here, Jesus? How can you be? How could you possibly attend to all the real important stuff going on in the world and still have time for me?
I'm not sure what to say a lot of the time. It's like calling a psychic, shouldn't you already KNOW what I will say anyway?!?
I forget you are there, too. I am sorry for neglecting you. I am so sorry for so much: things I've done, things I've said, and for the people I have hurt. How can I become like you?
I can't believe that you want me to call you, "Daddy." Isn't that not-reverent-enough? How about, "LORD Dad?" "King Pop?" "Almighty Father." When is one appropriate and the other not? If I don't know how to address you, it's going to be hard to get to know each other.
I want to know you, but why in the world would you want to know me? I'm sort of a dork most of the time. I do so very few things well. A lot of the time, I think I'm nuts; if you really do desire to have an intimate relationship with me, watch out!
I have a hard time asking for help, too. Could you help me with that?
Do you really want to give me good gifts? Things that are good for me? I generally suck at determining what's good for me and what isn't. I've hurt myself quite a few times, and, more than once, blamed it on you. Will you forgive me for that as well?
This whole "Dad" thing is sometimes hard for me to grasp. You know my issues with that, right? So, this may take awhile to get used to, O.K.? Could you be patient with me, please?
More than anything, I want you to know that I'm willing. I'm thankful that you are willing, too. Thank you for not forcing anything. I know it's taken me awhile to come around again. I know we can't make up for lost time, but you redeem stuff, right? Could you redeem my pain? I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I deserve it, but I hurt.
I would have liked to have hung out with David. Could you teach me like you did him? My heart's in need of a good teacher. He was a writer, too.
This honesty stuff is wearing me out, and I've noticed my keyboard is wet. Can I talk to you later? I love you. I love you, Father. I love you, Daddy. Man, that felt good.
Thanks,
Benny

Ben Wilcox

Random advice

Travel tip:

If ever you connect through, or leave from, the Atlanta airport and need to quickly make it past security, there is a little known, somewhat secret line #1 that snakes around to the right. Nobody seems to realize it's available because they assume it's for employees only (It does appear to be). However, it's open to the public; I've used it twice in the past year or two with almost no delay at all. Check it out: it's worth a shot.

Ben Wilcox

I'm not the only one

"I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much
Does that make me crazy?
Possibly
My heroes had the heart to
Lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done
Maybe I'm crazy"
by Gnarls Barkley

My parents reared me to always speak my mind. This trait has served me well at certain times, and at others this habit has placed me in a lot of hot water. I'm passionate and emotional. I've cried in front of everyone I know and a lot of folks I've never met. I'm willing to not be right 100% of the time. I've always dreamt vividly and tried to put my effort into causes that truly matter (at least, I thought they did at the time). I've often failed, and there have been so many moments in my life of which I am deeply regretful. With the recent loss of my job, and due to a lot of time spent in thoughtful reflection and prayer, something is beginning to emerge from within me that is growing more and more unsettling. This dis-ease and dis-satisfaction I feel is gaining clarity and strength.
I had a conversation with two men who proclaim to follow Christ. I sincerely believe that they do their best in that worthwhile pursuit. However, I'm troubled by the reaction I got from them when I commented about the state of affairs in the American Church regarding a certain issue: the divorce rate amongst people who claim to be "Born Again." [For those of you unfamiliar with the term, Born Again generally refers to the idea that the person has had a personal experience with Jesus and surrenders/dedicates their life to his teaching and his way of life. In other words, these folks pursue Christlikeness.] One thing that Jesus teaches is that what we may give up on due to perceived limits or lack of resources is never impossible according to his abilities and imagination. (See: Matthew 19:26; Luke 1:37)
Anyway, when I asserted that I would like to see the day when our church no longer needed its Divorce Recovery program due to lack of need, they laughed. I believe the exact response was, "Yeah that'll happen, Ben; the same day Jesus comes back!" I know they believe that Jesus is returning. What pissed me off was their disbelief that something seemingly impossible: that increasing numbers of married couples, both of whom are committed to Christ, could actually remain married, and, consequently, the number of divorces within the walls of the American Church would dramatically decrease---this unbelief, this lack of faith, this all-too-common practice of regarding the sayings of Christ as cliches fit only for dismissive remarks when we don't know what to say to someone whose life circumstances have left them void of hope and left us otherwise speechless---this was the attitude that angered me so. Am I crazy? Am I that mentally ill to assume that when Jesus said something then, he meant it to still be true today? I've been searching for years for the one thing to which I could give my life. One cause. One mission. My heroes have lived on the fringes of what the majority would consider impossiblity. Take a flippin' risk. Believe in something. Preferrably something bigger than yourself. Maybe you'll even have some fun.
There is something pleasant in stepping out of the traffic, so to speak, long enough to figure out what you are crazy enough to get your self into.
So maybe I'm crazy. I just need a little faith, right? (Matthew 17:20)
A speck of hope?
I know too much to pretend to be unaware. I believe too much to be inactive. This doesn't make me a better person, nor does it mean I'll ever be completely successful before my time here on earth is finished. It just makes me committed. Maybe they'll commit me! Maybe I'm crazy. I know that I'm not really in control anyway. If nothing else, it gives me something to do. "And I can die when I'm done."


Ben Wilcox

David the Conference Junkie vs. Onslaught of Goliath Vendors

First, I'm in Atlanta at a Church leadership conference for young adults (http://www.catalystconference.com/) and I'm illegally passing out the paperback annoucement for Between Two Worlds (http://betweentwoworlds.org/). Can I go to jail for that? Maybe the worst that can happen is a littering ticket. Anyway, they have a ton of vendors here (the Christian term is "exhibitors"), and so it's like being at a shopping mall where you get the constant, "Sir, what wireless service do you have?" from the booths in the middle of the hallway. Except here, I'm getting nailed by the promotional, foam footballs from the next, great, youth, 'sports ministry' trying to get me to sign-up. (I would register, but I can't remember my name due to the head trauma I received from the aforementioned $.05 ball that impacted my skull) I've already inquired as to how I can get a booth at next year's conference (the audience is expected to be about 10,000!) promoting BTW and Oasis.
Secondly, we are now giving BTW to the parent(s) of the children of divorce in our program. Duh! This should have been the FIRST population of people that I thought of when asking, "Who HAS to read this?"
Third, I've also been pimping our bookstore folks pretty hard to better display the BTW workshop CDs, see: http://willowcreek.org/seeds.asp and the book version (when they come in--even though I am able to get them in two days or less from booksamillion. Go figure!). So, now the CDs are next to the registers, WAL-MART style. Hopefully that will produce some impulse buying: just like the lip balm and M&M's with which I almost walk out of the store if it weren't for those life-saving displays in the check-out aisle.
I don't know whether or not we can set up a booth next year at this conference. However, I love the idea that we could set something with the sole purpose of helping Churches help hurting kids---at no charge!
Lastly, imagine that: someone eating the cost of ministry so that more can be done in the name of Jesus. Wow. What a novel idea. Free love.
If I do make it back there as a vendor--oops, I mean 'exhibitor'--I think I'll leave my bullhorn and footballs at home.
Ben Wilcox