I am a 33-year-old Rookie

I am halfway through reading Chris Coste's ("Coast") The 33-Year-Old Rookie (How I Finally Made It To The Big Leagues After 11 Years in the Minors). I bought the book because the title deeply resonated with me. Having turned 33 in September, I feel like a rookie regarding several areas of my life.

I have not had employment for over two years now. I had dinner with friends last night and tried to explain my odd circumstances: I have income but no job. Don't get me wrong. It's truly a blessing to be free to pursue new and different things right now (see previous post), but at the same time, it takes tremendous self discipline to stay on track and feel like I am making the most of my time and energy (I would grade myself a B- so far).

In his book, Coste describes how much time and work he put into transforming himself into a better player--giving himself every chance to make it. He describes the disappointment that accompanies being sent back to the minors time after time. Of feeling like his dream of making it to the 'bigs' was possibly slipping away. The last two years have been an adventure to say the least. We've moved several states away. I have been trying to transform myself into a writer and journalist, and many times, I feel like a fumbling rookie--unsure of what to do or to whom to go for directions.

Like Coste, I have to keep putting myself out there and taking chances. Keep sending the query letters and proposing ideas. Keep sending emails to people I do not know but whose work has inspired me. Making the big "ask." (& often feeling like a big ass)

Coste does make it to the Majors on a couple of occasions. He makes the most of his time while there because he is never sure how long his "shot" will last. I must do the same. Being a rookie can suck: carrying the veterans' bags, doing the dirty work, acting as if you know what you are doing, subjecting yourself to the criticism that inevitably comes from attempting new things, etc. But, how else can I expect to improve? I believe that suffering through this rookie season will all be worth it someday. I just hope it doesn't take 11 years!