Father God,

I've been so tired for so long; when will this end? Am I supposed to be learning something in all of this? Is this about my pace? I hurt, and I feel like I've been operating at 55% capacity for weeks.
Are we o.k.? I've neglected you many times in the past month or so. You've given me some great ideas and bursts of creativity, though. What are you saying?
Am I on the right track? (Pilgrim and Disciple?) Maybe your Son is moving more slowly than I would like him to; is this your way of getting me to fall in line behind him? I've seen Him show up in so many ways and in so many faces lately--mostly in the way that children look at me. What's changed? My heart? It feels softer . . . I like that; it's somewhat scary, but I have been enjoying the new ways in which I see people that I used to ignore (e.g. little kids). What are you up to?
If I can keep melting into your mold, Jesus, then I am willing to maintain this pace. My brain is working, but my body isn't. Am I doing something wrong? Is it something I'm not doing that I should be?
I know you take care of me. It's all yours anyway, God. I'm all yours. Thank you for all that you have given me to manage. I am excited about who & what you have put in my life. I love them. I think they love me. That's hard for me to accept, you know.
I love you. I trust you. Thank for this certainty. Maybe I need that more than clarity.
You're all I have and need.
Bless you.
Your son,
Ben

Feverish

I'm just now feeling a little bit better after a butt-kicker of a severe cold/flu. I slept forever yesterday and loaded up on Thera-flu tea. I still went to Oasis at Willow tonight. I think my illness actually forced me to take on a better pace tonight. I had a great time, connected with the kids I needed to, and allowed a couple elements proceed without me. It all worked out. Maybe I should get sick more often?