Song for the Dying

See Jesus in the orphaned, widowed,
Men left alone.

Pull them close
Death is near
Where is our fight?

We don't look, we don't see,
Where is our light?

A touch is healing, our love a weapon
Won't we notice the plight?

There's no question to answer,
We move into the fight.

I want to hold the hand of the dying
I want to wrap arms 'round the oppressed
To cling to the filthy--
and cry with guilty--
Mourn the innocent.

"Rescue those who are unjustly sentenced to death; don't stand back and let them die. Don't try to avoid responsiblity by saying you didn't know about it. For God knows all hearts, and he sees you. He keeps watch over your soul, and he knows you knew! And he will judge all people according to what they have done."
Proverbs 24:11-12


Ben Wilcox

Still or Running?

June 12, 2006

Phone interview.
Some tough questions, but I'm handling it alright.
Then,
After an hour or so--
A question:
THE question.
She got me.
I didn't see it coming.
How did she know to ask that.
Did I set myself up?
Was it that easy?
I think I might have left myself out there on the ledge . . .
You know?
Long silence.
Really long silence.
Gasping.
Grasping.
A gaping hole in time where my mind ran off with me,
But I was left holding,
On hold,
Trying to hold on to whatever composure I could come up with.
Wow.
This sucks.
Yet, it needed to be asked or said,
Didn't it?
It was only natural.
I haven't gone anywhere.
I am here.
It's leaving, slowly;
Not me.
I'm a "stay"er now, right?
I can't leave; won't leave.
Wouldn't be right.
Unthinkable.
I'm not going anywhere.
Or, have I?
But, no, I'm here.
Just hang up.
Maybe she'll say something.
Maybe I should change the subject.
No.
I need to think about this.
Any shred of truth--
Really?
O.K.
Is my voice still here?
Here we go.
Truth:
No!
I've slowed down and dealt.
Haven't I?
It's not chasing me anymore!
I won't take off.
Not now.
Not ever.
Not again.
Not me.
I am me.
I can.
I will.
Be still and know.
Right?
Still.
Yeah.
In place.
In my place.
Here.
Now.
I am still here.
I am here still.
I am still.
Me.
Imagine that.
"Running to stand still."
(Thanks, Paul.)


Ben Wilcox