Tweeners etc.

Part of the solution for Churches to engage Tweeners and young adults is to understand their family situations and how it affects our teaching and outreach paradigms. Over one million kids experience their parents' divorce each year. In addition, the fatherless statistics in the U.S. are staggering. Because of how many grow up without a dad---pastors and youth workers need to understand that this emerging generation is not only unfamiliar with traditional Bible stories, but also that, when hearing Jesus' parables and other teaching, younger people will often interpret them differently than older adults. Author Elizabeth Marquardt found that young adults with divorced parents, when hearing the Parable of The Prodigal Son, for example, identified much more closely with the Father character than with the Son who left. For these teens and twenty-somethings, the anxiousness and stress from waiting for someone to come back home resonated much more deeply. Teachers at all levels within the Church need to exhibit a constant and sensitive awareness towards their audience along these lines.

Besides embracing a new sensitivity and awareness when teaching from the Bible, the next step for engaging this emerging generation is to conduct outreach opportunities that create safe places for young people to process their feelings and explore their faith--without fear of judgment. We must listen, notice, and inquire while resisting the urge to condemn. Their questions must be safe with us. It is ours to be brave enough to ask tough, open-ended questions. We can validate their reality without necessarily approving of it. This a key component of compassion. People feel welcome when they feel heard and valued. By deliberately offering these opportunities, Churches will reclaim their role as places of refuge where everyone, in authentic community, can confess and confront in a truly healthy environment.

At the same time, those of us within the Church need to confess and confront our outdated paradigms because so many young adults and teens are missing out on the connections that we use to take for granted. It is our responsibility and privilege to offer hope in new ways not only from the pages of the Bible but also in the way we conduct our meetings and ministries. We have to realize that this generation resonates with Bible stories and characters differently than previously assumed, and we have to alter our presentation accordingly. We must go out of our way to offer emotional 'safe zones' for people to connect with one another--and, in part, re-create the family that is painfully missing. These are our brothers and sisters in Christ, and, for the older adults among us: these are your Spiritual children, too. We cannot abandon them nor abdicate our responsibility in caring for them. They have already faced too much of that at home and in school. Our churches must become places of real connection. Our teaching must connect with its young audience through an ever-evolving awareness and sensitivity to the issues our young people are facing. We cannot afford to take comprehension or connection for granted anymore.

Fighting Like A Girl

With all the attention female mixed martial arts has recently garnered from the prime time television debut of Gina Carano, I had the privilege of interviewing promising young talent Angela Magana. She gave me her thoughts on the current state of women’s MMA and her plans for the future.

Angela, who fights at 115 pounds with a professional MMA record of 5-1-1, turns 25 later this year, and has a bright outlook in the sport despite her troubled past. She escaped East L.A. and her heroin-addicted parents’ home by moving to Northern New Mexico to live with her grandparents. Once there, she became an accomplished Golden Gloves amateur boxer amassing over 40 fights. In Junior High and High School, Angela was the only female wrestler on the team and overcame all the prejudice that came with it. However, her drive to be the best propelled her beyond the stereotypes. Angela enjoyed destroying the bias she faced almost as much as destroying her all-male opponents. “Guys quit after I beat them.”

On May 31st, Magana refused to quit in the biggest fight of her career. In Claremore, Oklahoma, before a hostile, standing-room-only crowd, she won her co-main event match for the Freestyle Cage Fighting Women’s Championship by defeating hometown favorite, and so-called ‘first professional female MMA fighter from Oklahoma,’ Nicdali “The Nite Queen” Calanoc.

Angela rotates her training among Greg Jackson’s MMA in Albuquerque, Floyd Sword’s Team Four Corners in Farmington, NM, and Durango Martial Arts with pro fighter Chris Jones in Durango, CO. Angela has a five year old daughter, and balancing her fight preparation and personal life offers its own unique challenge. “The guys in the gym don’t realize [my responsibilities]. [My child] has to be in bed my 8p.m., and some nights we don’t even start to train jiu-jitsu until after 8p.m. The guys can leave their kids at home with the wife. Not me! I’m a single mom.” Sometimes, she simply brings her daughter to the gym, and when I asked her whether she would encourage her child to pursue MMA, Angela responded, “She does train a little bit of jiu-jitsu. She doesn’t like to tap out. I think we both have a really high tolerance for pain.”

What does Angela think about the state of female MMA? She is excited about the possibilities and, when I asked what her reaction would be to a promotion’s attempts to turn her into a sex symbol, she added, “If they want to put make-up on me and dress me up cute . . . and use that . . . I mean, what do people love? Sex and violence. I’ll use it. It opens doors. Like Gina [Carano] and American Gladiators. I’ll use it to open doors.”

Angela Magana hopes that the doors to her future in MMA will open even wider in the near future. “Someone from Cage Rage (in England) called and Herb Dean was talking about wanting me [to fight in] Guatemala.” She expects Elite XC to contact her soon, and Angela gets several phone calls per month from other promotions. She is enjoying her success so far. “Now, I don’t have to plan my life around my fights; I can plan my fights around my life.”

When I asked Angela about her ‘wish list’ of future opponents, all she did was call out the toughest fighters at her weight class: Lisa Ward, Megumi "Mega Megu" Fujii, and Yuka Tsuji. She has one other opponent she would love to fight: Jessica Aguilar—whom she has faced twice. Each fight ended controversially, and Angela wants another shot, “I would fight her for no money.”

Angela Magana has unquestionable toughness. She takes great pride in refusing to quit. After breaking her back last September, she proved her mettle to everyone by taking three fights in the six months since having her body cast removed. Angela realizes that the sport has evolved and constantly seeks to improve her skills. She said, “There are a lot of girls who think they are ‘tough,’ but they are not very technical. They are good at a lot of things but not great at anything. That doesn’t work [anymore]. You have to be great at more than one thing.” Finally, I asked her to rate her chances for success in MMA. Magana replied, “I’m going to do good [because] winning isn’t always about winning. It’s about never giving up. I don’t give up. I live my dreams.”

Pictures of Insanity!

THANKS REBA!!!!!

DOING VS. BEING

QUICKLY, HERE IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT I HAVE DONE AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP TO MY DEVELOPMENT AS A PERSON . . .AT LEAST, I HOPE.

DOING
1. Participated in first Strongman event
2. Started learning jiu-jitsu and grappling
3. Two day drive back to Colorado with no music or other in-car noise
4. Saying goodbye to loved people
5. Moved into drastically smaller living space

BEING
1. Pushed myself to several “personal bests” and gained confidence in my ability to do things I never thought of doing until recently
2. Learning to ‘not freak out’ when someone is smothering me. [life long fear/phobia]
3. Continued to develop ear for God’s voice and enjoyed the scenery: Mt. Rushmore, Custer Park, Black Hills, and the antelope of Wyoming. Also, re-entering relaxed pace of life west of the Mississippi River
4. Trusting relational strength; faith in God’s desire for me to have good gifts; ability to receive; bigger picture perspective; carrying the hope that I will develop new relationships in Durango
5. Opportunity to get rid of superfluous stuff; ongoing journey of simplicity

Sweat

It seems like all I have done lately is sweat. I have never been an athlete or athletic for that matter. Every sport is an extreme one for me. I've tried golf, but I need a lot of lessons in order to truly play correctly, and I am not that interested or motivated for that right now.
So, I have been doing this crazy strength training since last September. In two weeks, I'll be in an athletic competition for the first time. It's not a huge event, but a new experience nonetheless.
Last month I began to learn jiu jitsu. This past week I have been training with the guys at Team No Ego in Oswego, IL. They prepare pro fighters--in addition to offering training for other crazy men wanting to get thrown around and sweat their asses off.
I sweat--a lot. It seems like I am sweating all the time. It's strange to see your body slowly transform and to gauge how much "back up" you have when pressed against a wall by someone trying to hit you or take you down. I am a true beginner/novice. Everyone kicks my ass right now: little guys, big guys, old guys, and high school wrestlers. But, my cardio is getting better. My aggressiveness is building. I sweat and sweat and sweat as I try to learn a new language, fit into a new culture & survive until the round buzzer goes off. If I could just catch my breath, maybe I could stop freaking out when someone is on top of me trying to make me submit. Sometimes the sweat make it hard for them to hold onto me.
The sweat can help you escape. Sweat is a sign of struggle, of work, and of persistence. I am escaping inactivity and getting used to walking around dripping wet.
Sweat takes you to places you would otherwise not have reached without it. I have not been in shape like this since my early twenties.
Can't wait to start sweating tomorrow. We'll see where it gets me.

Overview for Book Proposal

Each year more than one million children experience their parents’ divorce. Why is the timing for this book perfect right now? Just like Rick Warren’s national best-selling Purpose Driven Life answered adults’ questions about the meaning of life, It’s Not Fair will infuse teenagers with a sense of purpose despite desperate circumstances. Counselors and therapists who work with teens asked them, “What do you see as the major stresses/problems facing today's teenagers?” 72% of the respondents listed, ‘Problems arising from parental divorce.’ In addition to the normal challenge of adolescence, divorce activates a vast array of difficulties that, without the proper guidance, can lead to damaging results—both now and later in life. “Children of divorced parents are . . . twice as likely as others to have poor relationships with their parents, drop out of high school and receive psychological help.” The book will show teens where to go for help, how to regain control over their lives, what the facts are concerning the tough issues they face and how to deal with them successfully.
Furthermore, teenagers with divorced parents are more likely to feel that no one really understands them. The authors—Linda Jacobs, a divorced, single mom who now runs a national divorce care program for kids and Ben Wilcox, an adult child of divorce with years of experience working with teenagers from divorce situations—will connect with readers on every level by including real stories from teens who went through their parents’ divorce and adult children of divorce who prove that success in life is possible. Through fresh encounters with key Bible characters, relevant applications, and Scriptural references for life skills, the teenaged child of divorce will be doing something that will give new verve to their spirit, mind, body, and soul. In the United States alone, there are approximately 20 million teenagers living with just one parent. By reading It’s Not Fair, they have the chance to discover the power found in only Jesus and the critical opportunity to not only survive their parents’ divorce but also thrive in the midst of it.