The clue-phone is ringing, and it's for me!

Sometimes my wife and I will play-fight, and she’ll always go for the low-blow hit—you know: ‘south of the border?’ She’s doesn’t fight fairly, but she is effective. Or, sometimes we’ll head-butt each other (I have the obvious advantage with this one), but no matter how we get started wrestling around, she’ll always kid me about my needing an attitude adjustment. She always adds, “And I’m just the one to give it to you!” In reality, however, I’ve come to realize that I’m the only one who can truly adjust my ‘tude. Lisa can prompt me, but she can’t really accomplish what needs to be done inside of me to align my thoughts, feelings, and words with a more positive outlook.
If I don’t choose to ‘check myself’ regularly and do any necessary adjustments, my day goes south in a hurry. I need my wife, close friends, family members, and, most importantly, the Holy Spirit to urge me to undergo some diagnostics. I often need their help in determining what’s out of focus with my perspective and how I can recalibrate. See, that’s where all the traps lie. My first instinct is to blame other people, circumstances, and agencies for my headaches and hardships. My stress has to be someone else’s fault, doesn’t it? There’s so much I can’t control and change. My anxiety has resulted from little else. However, lately, I’m beginning to find freedom in that. I believe there’s solace available in knowing that what I can’t change doesn’t have to change me, but I can change my attitude in response to the situations in which I find myself. In other words, if I let go of what I never had a grasp on anyway, maybe I’ll end up possessing much more than I ever thought possible. If I begin to accept the unchangeable, perhaps I can focus my mental and physical energy into more worthwhile causes and accomplishable achievements. (My priorities are beginning to become more well-grounded also.) I love this quotation my friend shared with me the other night. It’s from an A.A. book: “And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitude.” My wife has another great saying, “Get a real problem and call me back!” So often, the real problem is me and my attitude. I can begin to focus on what can be changed (me) and relieve so much stress from my life because I’ve ceased banging my head against the wall of the immovable. I can begin to give and receive grace. Maybe I can grow as a person. I could fall down and learn how to get up. I should give without expecting anything in return. I might find myself in helping others. Maybe I can just let go and end up with so much: real life and reckless love. Just maybe . . . Well, I have to go and call my wife now.

Anyone who holds on to this life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you’ll have it forever, real and eternal.
John 12:25 (THE MESSAGE VERSION)

God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change; COURAGE to change the things I can; and WISDOM to know the difference. Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it: trusting that He will make things right is I surrender to His will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him in the next. Amen.

. . . from dad

"Failure is not measured by mistakes but in the refusal to deal with pride, anger, and pain"

-Terry Wilcox, June 1993

Safe AND effective????

I guess I don't know how to be both safe (comfortable) and effective (trusting) while serving God. Also, I've found recently that I often neglect knowing Jesus for trying to do things for him. As I venture into some unknown water during the next few years, which state of being will I choose? Safety or effectiveness? I listened to a great speaker the other day say that he hated the expression, "The safest place to be is in the center of God's will." His assertion was that God doesn't call us to be safe, nor is he overly concerned with our comfort. The speaker went on to use the life of the Apostle Paul as an example of someone living in the center of God's will, but his life was far from comfortable. It was dangerous wherever Paul went. He wrote that he had been beaten, robbed, stoned, and so. Paul became arguably the greatest apostle by living on the edge of danger--unafraid of suffering for Christ. My faith will take me places I may not want to go. I won't be comfortable or pampered. I like the expression I heard recently, "I don't know where I'm going; I just know what I'm going to do when I get there." I never want to neglect the main thing: loving, and being loved by, Jesus. Keep the first thing first. I want it to be dangerous wherever I go because I've got the Holy Spirit whispering in my ear constantly, and I'm too busy complying with the whisper to worry about the threat level. I've been comfortable for far too long.
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a little while,
'He who is coming will come and will not delay.
But my righteous one will live by faith.
And if he shrinks back,
I will not be pleased with him.'
But we not those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved."
Hebrews 10:35-39

Inside Out

“The choice before us is rather stark: either live to be comfortable (both internally and externally) or live to know God. We can’t have it both ways. One choice excludes the other.” --Dr. Larry Crabb, Inside Out

When Hollywood makes a movie out of a book, they rarely get it right. There a lot of reasons for this. Among these are the limited amounts of time they have to: tell the story, develop characters, and set up the climax. Often, the screen version of a story doesn’t ring as true as the printed one due to lack of integrity in holding to the author’s originally intended message. Sometimes, though, for whatever reason, a movie made from a good book just stinks. Maybe it’s the change of medium, selection of actors, or a director’s hangover. Regardless, sometimes you wish they had left well enough alone.
A recent exception is “The Shawshank Redemption.” In wonderful adaptation of a Stephen King short story, “Redemption” portrays a tale of wrongful imprisonment involving a crooked warden, life-sentence inmates, and sadistic guards. The main character Andy, after a long stretch of time ‘inside’, decides to take matters into his own hands. We see Andy concoct an elaborate escape route and emerge outside the walls of the prison raising his arms skyward in exuberant celebration of sweet release.
The choices presented to Andy in the penitentiary grew to be unacceptable to him. He no longer wanted to endure the monotonous drudgery of prison life. He had tired of the abuse, and knowing that he didn’t belong there in the first place, he took matters into his own hands. He got out. Andy found the courage and resolve to set a course of action and follow through. He took great risk—his own life included, but he stayed the course. The moral question of prison escape aside, Andy displayed great determination, patience, and resolve in the face of daunting circumstance and hopeless situation.
Both King’s original story that I read as a teen and Hollywood’s rendition of this tale challenge me to engage in some serious self-reflection and assessment. Have I constructed a prison with my choices? Or, do I constantly chip away at the wall of present circumstances in patient assurance that light will break through at any time and guide the way to freedom? Am I submitting to the ‘warden’ of comfortable lifestyle? Who have I left in charge of guarding me? What’s on the other side of confinement? Can I trust God enough to see me through? In the midst of enormous frustration with my current situation, will I concede control to the One who knows what’s best for me? Will I trust His love enough to make up for all the disappointment I face in me and in others? (The perfect peace of Jesus making the rounds in the cellblock of my mind and heart)
At some point, we must face the reality of where our lives have taken us. Whether in desperation or abundance, we are presented with turning points of decision as to what our lives will amount to. Will I pursue success, or will I strive for significance instead? Will I leave a mark?
In the movie, Andy is talking to his closest friend and relating the conclusions he’s drawn. Andy has reached his ‘point of no return’ and with remarkable clarity summarizing the alternatives as he sees them with this statement, “Time to get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’.” The road to self-protection and self-fulfillment leads straight inside a prison constructed with the four walls of frustrating routine, empty depression, selfish longing, and shallow relationships. I’m there. It’s time to tunnel out. It’ll take time, patience, and determination. I’ll have to ‘dig’ at night-after my regular working hours. But, Jesus is keeping watch for me. I guess I’ll have to listen attentively for his whisper, and wait for that small speck of light to start shining through. There’s freedom on the other side. On the other side is life: passionately pursuing a life of knowing God and trusting his love enough to truly love others.

“In every situation, there’s a way to respond that pleases God. And that must be our goal: to please God rather than to relieve all distress.” --Dr. Crabb

Would you that I could?

It’s a rap . . .

Should I – write another story?
Could I – change the one I got?
Would I – need another lifetime?
Will you – gimme one more shot?

Can I - feel like this forever?
Should I – just pick up & go?
Would I - need more time to get ready?
Will you – please let me know?

Could I – really be useful to you?
Would I – make you proud of me?
Can I – call myself your dear son?
Will you – truly set me free?

Cause I’m running to you, daddy.

Be Offensive

“And the hits-- just keep onnnn comin’ . . .”

That can feel like the story of our lives: one low-blow after another. Sometimes it seems that our only defense is to curl up in a ball and wait for the storm to pass over. How many times have I said to myself, “Just go to sleep; it’ll all be better in the morning.”?
But as you know, time itself doesn’t heal all wounds. Even if it did, we still wouldn’t have learned how to prevent further injury because all we have done is ridden the storm out. We will have never gained any insight on how to protect ourselves or in whom to place our trust. Furthermore, how do we begin to rebuild our lives (or church) when disaster has struck?
I believe several keys to successful reconstruction lie in the book of Nehemiah and the effort to replace the wall around Jerusalem. As Nehemiah spearheaded this massive project, he and his workers faced incredible turmoil, including: taunting, mockery, and enemy attacks.
In chapter two we read that everyone was fully aware of the tragedy that had beset their city, and once Nehemiah stated his intentions to rebuild the wall to the political and religious leaders and stated how he knew that the hand of God was upon him, they were all for it (verses 17&18). But you know what’s interesting? As soon as they were about to proceed, the skeptics spoke up, “What are you doing . . . ?”(Verse 19) Nehemiah’s response in verse twenty is worth noting: “The God of heaven will help us succeed. We his servants will start rebuilding this wall. But you have no stake or claim in Jerusalem.” (Emphasis mine) Those who are not vested personally in the greater vision of our life or our community should have no place or voice in our plans and efforts. How often, however, do we let these same people deter us from our duty and detract from our dreams?
Then, in chapter four, the mockery turns to scheming and plans to attack. When Nehemiah and the crew learn of these machinations, they respond the way I wish came more naturally to followers of Christ and those belonging to any community of faith fellowship: “[They] prayed to . . . God and guarded the city day and night to protect [them] selves.” (Verse 9) They didn’t neglect the awesome power of constant prayer, nor did they forget the need to remain vigilant at all times. They kept their guard up.
Like any good leader, Nehemiah did his part by placing the right people in the right role: those who were stronger protected those who were weaker. (Verse 13) He knew they were susceptible to attack due to the distance between the work parties and the separation that existed between the people. Like the workers in this story, we as church members can’t always stay in constant contact, but we can be constantly ready to respond by arming ourselves appropriately and by assisting those who might be struggling with their faith. “The common laborers carried on their work with one hand supporting their load and one hand holding a weapon.” (Verse 17b) As we encourage each other and labor together in the work of building God’s kingdom, we strive to undertake the dual role of faithful servant and equipped watchman. (Do you know what the weapons of our warfare are? See Ephesians 6:10-18)
I wonder what would happen if, when tragedy occurs within God’s Church, we all ran instinctively back to it and took shelter there, instead of fleeing and staying away from it? Nehemiah had everyone move back inside the walls once there was significant progress made in rebuilding them. He knew that, together, they stood a chance of protecting their work and each other. (Verse 22) More than anything, Nehemiah commanded constant vigilance on the part of everyone. “During this time, none of us- not I, nor my relatives, nor my servants, nor the guards who were with me- ever took off our clothes. We carried our weapons with us at all times” (Verse 23). A strong, unified, prepared community of believers presents a daunting adversary to our enemy because isolation is one of Satan’s favorite strategies. (See also II Corinthians 6:7-8a)
If you watch any team sport regularly, you may have heard this, “A good offense is better than a good defense.” I think Nehemiah probably would take both. So should we. Be wise, watchful, and prepared. Take shelter in the Lord and in His church. Care for those unable to care for themselves. Set about the rebuilding of your life and your church with one hand on the work and the other on your weapon. “Don’t be afraid of the enemy! Remember the LORD, who is great and glorious, and fight for your friends, your families, and your homes!” (Verse 14).
If we do these things- together, we can say, “I will not die, but I will live to tell what the LORD has done.” Psalm 118:17

WWBD?

“All men dream: but not equally.
Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.”
-T.E. Lawrence


I’m one of the few people I know who can remember their dreams upon waking. I don’t know if this is a blessing or a curse. I don’t place much significance on the content of my dreams usually, but I do know they usually involve whatever I’ve been dealing with the day before. The really weird, I-don’t-want-to-be-dreaming-this-dream, dreams are those which include different people from varying times of my life, and now, unexplainably, these people all know each other even though, in real life, I don’t know them anymore. (Those types of dreams are probably mostly vanity.)
When I wake in the day, though, what then? Is there any connection between the images in my mind’s eye and what I can easily see everyday? More importantly, what dream am I living out?
My wife asked me the other day, “What’s your dream, Ben?” I honestly wasn’t sure how to respond. I’ve been concentrating so much on what kind of person I am that I haven’t really stopped to consider where that endeavor is taking me. Maybe it doesn’t matter. I could have a grand vision that drives my every waking second toward completion of some goal, but if I arrive there as a jackass, what good would it do? I believe that the product is the process, so to speak. In other words, my bigger vision is not ‘what am I doing?’ but ‘who am I becoming?’
See, that’s why the whole ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ craze unsettles me. If God truly desires to transform me into the image of His son Jesus, as the Holy Scriptures attest, then I don’t need to run every decision through the WWJD filter. I need to trust in Him to complete the work He started in me when I accepted Him as my savior and remain receptive to the counsel of the Holy Spirit. (See Phil. 2:5)
If my dream of Christ-likeness is going to have any chance of coming to fruition, my eyes need to be open and focused. It’s acceptable that I dream by night (I have no control over that anyway), and it’s kind of neat to be able to remember those dreams. But, as in the quotation above, if I want to have fervent, effective, visions of what may be and who I might become, then it’s my responsibility to “act [those] dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.” I guess that begs the question, how dangerous am I?